Going Home

The other night our team went downtown Cape Town to do some street ministry and pray for the people who find themselves on the street. We prayed with a homeless man named Michael Jackson, spoke with some young partiers on their way to the clubs and hung out at the mini-bus station where workers were catching the last taxis home. We met a street vendor selling biscuits and chips to buy his way back home to Congo. Like so many other vendors he came down hoping the make lots of money during the World Cup, but found himself on the streets when the opportunity failed to provide the riches he had hoped for. At the end of the night, we found ourselves amongst several parking lot guards and a couple homeless women in a dirty parking lot at the edge of the city. The topic of conversation came to Jesus, and a woman suddenly started to lead us in a beautiful Xhosa praise song to God. I remember looking around the circle of people (the guards, the homeless and our missionary team full of all our different colors and cultures) and thinking how crazy it is that we all found ourselves together in this impromptu worship service to God.

This has, to a large extent, been a picture of my last nine months here in South Africa. I’m always gathering together with a group of crazy diverse people. I often look around and ask myself, “how did I get here?” Ministry is messy, dirty and sometimes I wonder if it will even work at all. But at the end of the day, we always manage to make a somewhat beautiful melody of worship and glory to God.

As I write this blog, I have two more weeks left in South Africa. Most of this time will be spent saying goodbye to my friends here in Cape Town and the people I have met in the communities we serve in. My ministry and relationships with these people have gone through a sort of process since I first started work here. When I first entered the townships I felt a great pity for the people there and horror at the poverty they face and the lack of opportunities they have. Then I phased into a stage of compassion where all I wanted to do was give them as much love and mercy as I could in my weekly times with them. Finally, my love for them grew and they became more than just orphans and AIDS patients and Rastafarians and unemployed refugees from various countries—they became my dear friends. As I say goodbye, I am saying goodbye to brothers and sisters, mothers and nieces and nephews, although our skin color is so different and our way of life so foreign. I am sad to say goodbye and know I am changed by the relationships God has given me with these beautiful people.

I am excited to reach American soil, but I know I will miss Africa as soon as I get there. I will miss driving our van through townships and picking up as many children as will possibly fit and taking them to a nearby field to run and tickle and love on them. I will miss sitting in our kitchen and listening to all the different languages of my ministry mates as we joke and laugh about practically anything. I will miss African worship and the beauty of African skies. I’m realizing that my facebook statuses will be a lot less exciting and that bagging groceries is not as adventures as chopping up a dead mule with a machete and scooping up maggots to compost the drain of our new mission station toilets. But as much as I know God called me to Africa I am confident He is calling me back home.

I’ve learned a lot here. One thing, and certainly not the most important, is how to live on the road for months at a time. I usually traveled really light with one duffel bag, one backpack and a sleeping bag. I’ve learned to leave things behind that I no longer needed or weighed me down and pick other things up as I traveled to different circumstances and locations. This is the best way I can describe my change since coming to Africa. I have let go of things I felt I needed in America and discovered that I really didn’t need them in the first place. I have shaven off a bit of American culture that has disguised itself as Christianity and added a whole new set of lenses with which to view and serve God. It’s God’s brilliant and creative plan to move Christians all around the world so we can learn just how Big He is and How to serve him in a more full all-encompassing way. I came to Africa convinced God wanted me to strengthen the church over here. Now I can look at my African brothers and sisters and tell them they are strengthening the church in America by God sending me here to rub shoulders with them and gain a whole new set of luggage.

These are some things in my suitcase I have left behind: My American need for efficiency and orderliness. The idea that ministry needs a budget. The belief that I must wait for someone else to start something if I want to see change in the world. My sense of entitlement to possessions, a career, three meals and a cup of coffee a day and an abundance of clean water. The idea that success and significance is having a good paying job and owning your own house. The seeming importance of comfort over the radical life-changing gospel of Jesus Christ.

These are some things I’ve picked up along the way: A bigger view of God. A bigger understanding of how much God loves the world and desires to see everyone run into His sovereign arms. A realization of how powerful the gospel is—we just utter it and God convinces hearts. A deeper understanding of what makes hearts broken and how to enter into these situations incarnationally like Jesus. A huge love for community, even if your family looks and acts so different from you. An appreciation for the hospitality of other Christians and the blessing of borrowing. A tolerance for endless road trips across entire countries. The ability to run a children’s program when 500 kids show up and you don’t even speak the language. How to lead a mission team of Brazilians and Australians through a township of South Africans, Zimbabweans and Malawians. How to lead a Bible Study with Rastafarians. How to greet others in a half a dozen different languages. How to blow a vuvuzela. How to best eat chicken feet and discover new ways of changing up a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. How to live without Starbucks and breakfast burritos. Discovering the fact that I can live just fine on a suitcase of possessions. Discovering the fact that when you sacrifice and give stuff up, God always gives you so much more. He is always the giver. Discovering the fact that you can’t make a difference unless you are different and being a Christian comes with a continual fight against comfort zones. A realization that so much of our spiritual growth is about attitude, surrender and sacrifice and God takes care of the rest. Learning to listen to the Holy Spirit and letting the “God in you” totally take control. Living every day on God’s mission.
Running decisions, actions and attitudes through the lens of God’s Mission. Realizing how amazing and humbling it is to be invited by God on His Mission and finding out that nothing else really matters.

Finally, and this is the question I’ve been getting by a lot of my American friends back home: “What are you gonna do next?” I don’t have all the details for an answer yet, although I’m excited to find out what God has for me in the homeland. I do know these three things: I know that God wants me to do the exact same thing I’ve been doing in Africa—making disciples and living on God’s Mission. It’s a lot harder to love on mission in America, especially when you don’t wake up in a hut each morning. Everything is so comfortable there. But I’m excited to practice and encourage others to do it too. I know I will be going from discipling young Africans to discipling young Americans. My dream is to help raise up more missionaries, more passionate lovers of God who will not take mediocrity as their lot, but will be willing to follow Jesus to the ends of the earth (or the ends of their communities). And, finally, I know God is calling me to invest in Africa for the rest of my life. I want to raise funds to feed hungry children in Malawi. I want to continue to train up other youth leaders where resources are slim. I want to take a team of Americans to villages to love on orphans who are desperate to know love. I want to help make Christ look absolutely beautiful in this world by looking like Him, acting like Him, loving like Him, and teaching other to do the exact same thing. Wouldn’t that change the world?